Never good enough.
I'm writing about one of my Strengths but today, it seems like it is one of my weaknesses. Today I learned that Ping got a 710 on her GMAT exam. In the eyes of others, it may seem so idiotic that this tiny bit of information ,that in fact should make me feel congratulatory for my dear friend, has made seriously question my life choices, my abilities, and worse of all my value as a person.
Why do I hate myself more each time I am aware of the success of another? Why does the achievements of others have enough weight to ruin my day? Am I that selfish, envious, and uncontrolled? Why do I have to unwillingly press like or send a congratulatory sticker when the beast inside me is glowing green with envy?
My strengths
3. Significance - Your life is filled with goals, achievements, or qualifications that you crave. Whatever your focus -- and each person is distinct-- your Significance theme will keep pulling you upward, away from the mediocre toward the exceptional. It is the theme that keeps you reaching.
6. Achiever - Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. You must learn to live with this whisper of discontent.
8. Competition - Once in a while, you may question whether your yearnings for greatness are healthy or wise.
Its funny, how I read my StrengthsFinder report and these sentences stood out to me, and cut so deeply into my feelings. Somehow it feels good to have the pre-written words of an unknown writer is so powerful that it puts into words my life struggle. It feels kind of nice seeing written in words, the exact description of my daily fixations and mental struggle. It is nice, knowing that somewhere, out there, someone, anyone knows exactly the contents of the monster that is me.
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